Life is stressing me out. I moved into a new apartment this past weekend. Many stepped in to help out. As I was packing up, various people shuffled in and out of the apartment Amanda and I have spent the last seven years living in. Some helped, others just kept me company, and either way I appreciated everyone just being there. Talking to my friend Alfosno, ‘it never felt like it was just our apartment, it belong to all of us. This is where Jon met our group of friends for the first time, it’s where Amy brought Lucas after their first date, and we’ve spent New Year’s Eve nights, and birthdays, and said goodbye’s in this apartment. “ In the sitcom version my life, it’s the main set, and last week I dissembled the set, and I never once asked Amanda for help. She moved out the week prior. Having her there would have taken an emotional toll. It was time for us to move on… but change is difficult for everyone.
Thursday morning, I received the OK on the apartment I applied for. I was in Tampa for work, and in-between meetings I manically called movers, ComEd , and insurance providers. I somehow got everything done in one day, all while stressing out everyone around me. I got home late Thursday, and the movers were there by 12:30pm Friday, and by 3pm I was standing in the middle of an apartment filled with boxes that needed to be emptied. Exhausted from the few days prior, I stared at the mess around me blankly unsure of what to do next. My boyfriend just started unpacking, and to be fair, room-by-room put my life back together for me. To be honest, he did a good majority of the packing too. You don’t have to tell me how lucky I am… I’m well aware.
Sunday night, I left for Arizona, and the past two days I’ve been stuck in conference rooms trying to sell shit. I wasn’t even supposed to be on this trip, but I agreed to go because they needed someone to step-in. As I landed late Sunday night, ‘Ok, Henry, you can present the slides 3-8…’ ‘Oh, I didn’t realize I was that involved.’ For two days I have been talking about nothing but Valassis, and occasionally pretending to be interested in football. As I got on this flight back home, I realized I was mentally exhausted. I started to think about all the unpacking that still needs to be done, and how behind I am work. I’m overwhelmed. I threw on my headphones, as I clicked send on one last email. As we started to takeoff, Julian Roy’s, “People Who Love You,” came on….
“When you’re feeling in times of doubt
Your heads in the cloud,s you look around, like where’s the ground
All you want is to feel it now.
Am I running out of breath?
Don’t count your steps, count your blessed. Forget the rest.
Look at all the good instead.
When you fall in trouble times, just know the sun will rise.
Uncountless times open your eyes, and celebrate tonight.
Let the love flood you. Just look around you.
You got people who love you…”
I need subtle reminders. It’s all going to be ok, and everything that needs to get done, will get done. I spent a week surrounded with friends and family… when I ask, they will show up. They’ll listen to me, they’ll give me advice, and if needed, they’ll even help me pack-up all the shit I accumulated over the last seven years. Last week was an example of the fact, that I am constantly surrounded by people that love me, and for that I am forever grateful. And the truth is, life doesn’t need to be so complicated. There’s a lot going on right now, but those boxes will eventually all be gone, and all my work stuff will eventually get done. Right now though, I get to look forward to getting off this plane, seeing my boyfriend, and going straight to bed.
Also, there is a ton of turbulence on this flight, so I’m posting this without spell checking, or grammar checking it.