33.
I woke up 33 today. Last night I had dinner with friends, and we said it would be a quiet night. After too many bottles of wine, ‘Well, where to next?” You should never ask me that question, “Well, I turn 33 at midnight, we could go to Jakes.” “Jakes only seems appropriate…” Needless to say I woke up a little late today, to Facebook notifications, and a phone flooded with kind texts and missed calls. Here’s how I feel about 33…
I never planned past 30. When I was in my twenties I gave myself goals. I knew what I wanted to get out of my twenties. I wanted to have a career –I wanted to feel like I was on a path and that I at least felt like I was successful. I wanted to live in the city and experience everything that makes this city so special. I wanted it to feel like home. I wanted to have a diverse group of people around me. I wanted to be around people that would challenge me, and inspire me, and help me grow. Above all, I wanted to have stories to tell. I didn’t want to ever look back on my twenties and feel like I didn’t do enough. I did enough. I accomplished all these things. I was terrified to turn 30 because I didn’t know what the next chapter was.
My friends said your thirties are your best years, and they were right. What do I want though for this period of my life, because I know one day I’ll wake up, and I’ll be like… ‘Fuck, I’m 40… now what?’ I haven’t travelled as much as I would like. I want to finish what I started. I want to travel more. I want to work on the things that I’m really passionate about. I want to write more, and I want to continue doing improv. I need to find an adult apartment –although I do love my frat pad. I swear this apartment needs to be the set of a sitcom one day. In my thirties I want to be healthier. I need to stop smoking. I want to be better at my job –I’m not bad at my job, but I know I can be better. I can push myself. I want to start a t-shirt line. I don’t know why, but I do. It’s in the works. By 40 I want to work for myself. I want to find a way to support myself doing something I love –it can’t feel like ‘work’ forever. These are tangible things. These aren’t things I’ll tell myself I want to do.. these are things I will do.
I’m not terrified any more. My thirties are good. My horoscope today was the following…
If You Were Born Today, December 22:
You are an emotional person who is very connected to your past. You are exceptionally giving and supportive, sometimes to the point of martyrdom! You have to try not to feel resentful for all that you do for others by keeping this trait in balance. You would make an excellent counselor. Your love life is likely very changeful. You are extremely hard-working and few can do the job as well as you. Sometimes you are impatient with others who don’t seem to have the same work ethic as you, but you must understand that few do! You can be a perfectionist. You are a wonderful combination of conservative and creative or inspired.
This year is a period of constructive accomplishment. You are practical and realistic, and your judgment is especially sound. You also derive much satisfaction from practical achievement. It would behoove you to identify and focus on finding pleasure in the simple things that make you happy.
Your passions and enthusiasm run high, and the trick is to channel this extra energy constructively, which is easier than usual. In fact, you possess more self-discipline than usual. The period ahead is one of greater self-understanding, enterprise, and engaging projects. You easily find extra energy to pour into your pursuits, although you may be placing a lot of pressure on yourself to succeed at times this year. Pacing yourself will be important to stay healthy and happy. Business and ideas are both practical and innovative.
If you know me at all, and I’m guessing you do. All of that is true. I don’t know how much to read into horoscopes, but if it is true… well, it’ll be an interesting year. Tonight, my friends are having a small group of us over for dinner. We’ll have wine, and we’ll laugh, and I’ll look around that table and be grateful that I am here… at 33…. With so much left to do…