About Perspective.

Is the glass half full, or half empty? So cliché.  I find myself having the same conversation with many people.  I went to lunch with a friend the other day, and of course the topic of relationships and babies came up.  She told me about how she was starting to question whether she wanted either of those things.  About how she was finally starting to feel comfortable with the idea that maybe it would happen, and maybe it wouldn’t, and she was ok either way.  I can relate.  A couple of weeks ago another friend text me, ‘Do you ever feel like you can no longer relate to your friends who have kids?’  I couldn’t comprehend…’I don’t know, I don’t even think about it.  I’m going to the Grammys on Sunday, so like, I’m ok.’  I’m sure my friends having babies feel like they can’t relate to my life either sometimes. 

The grass is always greener on the other side.  I was at a friend’s wedding a year and half ago, with people I hadn’t seen in years.  Everyone asked the same questions, ‘Are you still living in Wrigley?  What else is new?’  I never have a great answer… yep, five years in Wrigley, single, and pretty much just pretending I’m still 28, while everyone else is getting married, having babies, buying houses, and getting their shit together.  ‘That’s awesome… I see your Facebook posts… we’re all just living vicariously through you.’  Excuse me?  How so?  I don’t get it.  I would much rather be in your situation.   

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my friend Allison and her newborn.  I’m obsessed.  I will just hold him for hours. Watch him sleep, and wait for him to wake-up and wonder what he’s thinking as he stares at me with those big eyes.  I’ll half jokingly tell my friends I just want to be a stay at home dad.  I would be such a good dad.  As much as I love spending time with Simon, I go home at the end of the night.  I do not wake-up at 4am when he needs to be fed.  I’ll ask Allison about being a new mom, and she’ll talk about how happy she is to be a mom, and how much she loves having Simon in her life.  She’ll also openly acknowledge how different things are.  “Yeah, it’s weird, we can’t just pick-up and go out to dinner, or go have drinks with you guys, and we definitely cannot get out of hand like we used to.  We have this responsibility now.”  

Perspective.  We’re always going to be missing out on something.  We are always going to have to give something up.  Neither is right or wrong, or a better fit.  I’m spending the next three months taking weekend trips to New Orleans and LA to visit friends.  I hardly ever turn down an invite to dinner.  I’ll text my friends randomly to go see a movie, and on the weekends I’ll sleep in.  I have zero responsibility to anyone beside myself.  Is that a good thing?  Who knows, but it’s the place I’m in right now.  Maybe that’ll change one day, and I will adapt to that.  I think I’d be happy if I had a kid, or met someone and ended up in a serious relationship.  Life is full of surprises, and I hope that the one thing that always remains is my ability to find happiness regardless of what is going on in my life.  I was unemployed for a year, and some people would probably be filled with anxiety and stress.  I was more like, cool I get to go to the gym during the day, and not be up at 730am every morning.  Perspective.  For me, the grass is greener on whichever side I’m on.  I can’t worry about where everyone else is in life, or what I do or don’t have.  It’s too much effort.  I’d rather work to find the happiness in whichever situation I’m in right now.  I think that’s the right thing to do.