With Thanks.

It’s Thanksgiving today, and I’m on a flight back to Chicago from Cabo, Mexico.  I spent a week there with my family.  In June or July my mom asked my sister and I if it would be a good idea to go on a family vacation since my dad was turning 60 this year.  A fully paid all-inclusive vacation?  Why would you even ask?  We obviously agreed it was a great idea.  That trip finally came to fruition this week.  Today, I scanned Facebook, and everyone is posting about what they’re thankful for… family, friends, dogs, and the list can go on and on.  I’m thankful for all those things too, but I’m also really thankful for this week with my parents.  This is a story about my parents…

I had a realization this last week while we were in Cabo.  My dad is starting to look more like my grandfather, and my mom like her mother.  We are all getting older, except, I do not feel older.  I do not feel like an adult.  I have this conversation a lot with my friends, and I can willfully acknowledge how much I still depend on my parents at 32 going on 33.  Back in August, I got a flat tire as I was leaving my parents house, ’Dad, what do I do?’ ‘Well, you can just put the spare on and then take it somewhere in the morning.’  Silence.  My dad recognizing that was not the same idea I had, ‘Or you could leave the car with us, and I’ll take it to get fixed in the morning.  Just take my car tonight.’  I am helpless sometimes.  I should not be this way at 32.

I’m not the best son.  My mom will remind me of that.  I don’t call enough; I don’t make time to visit.  I seem distant sometimes.  She becomes concerned.  She knows when something is wrong –always.  She’ll call, ‘Is everything ok?’  She will calm me down, unknowingly.  She will tell me everything is going to be ok.  I believe her.  A few months ago I was going through a lot –I would call her, and she would listen, and offer advice when she felt appropriate.  She would assure me, ‘this is just a phase.  It isn’t the rest of your life.’  Her and I have a connection. 

This week in Cabo, my 60 year old father went tubing and parasailing, and my mother who doesn’t know how to swim and is terrified of large bodies of water went on more boats then she’s probably been on her entire life.   I was proud of them.  I’m really lucky to have them around.  I know that not everyone is that fortunate.  Not only do I have them around, but they want to be involved.  They care.  They want to spend time with their kids, and they still want to help.  I see them with new eyes these days though –they’re getting older.  They’re slowing down, and I have to recognize that.  I was complaining about something a few weeks ago to a friend, ‘Henry, you’re so lucky to have such great parents.  Stop complaining.  I would give anything for one more day with my parents.’  She is right. 

So, I’m thankful for this week.  I’m thankful I had the opportunity to spend a week with them.  I’m thankful they are still here.  I’m thankful they are still so willing to be active. They haven’t given up.  They want to keep up.  I’m thankful they have always been there –they have dealt with my shit.  They are good people, and their only goal in life has been to give their children a life better then the one they knew.  They have accomplished that… and for that I am thankful.  I’m unsure if my mother has found this little project of mine –I know my dad hasn’t, he’s just really concerned with Snapchat right now.  If she has though… thank you two for this week.  I’ll try to call more, and I’ll try to be present.  I know I’m all over the place, but I’m here… always.  Hope everyone had a great day.  With love and gratitude from somewhere above America….