Kids.

I’m on vacation with my family this week.  We’re staying at this resort, which surprisingly isn’t overwhelming in the kinds of groups that are here.  It’s a mix of families, older couples, younger couples and thankfully not too many trashy American tourists.  However, there was someone walking around with a hat that read, ‘I Love Titties and Beer.’  I hate him.  Not the point though… last night we went to see the nightly show they do here.  We got there a little early and they were doing the kids portion of the show.  I sat down at the table my parents were at.  I ordered a drink, and just as the waiter walked away this little kid came and stood right next to me.  He stared at me, and I couldn’t help but laugh as he looked at me with this confused look on his face.  He stood there for a while, and after a few minutes this guy in front of us asked if I wanted their extra tickets for him.  They thought he was my son. 

Today we went to the beach a little further away from where we are staying.  The folks there seemed like locals.  Parents with their kids –holding on to them as they moved through the ocean.  These little people so enthralled in the world around them.  I’m really good with kids.  I’m a good babysitter.  I used to babysit for my cousin, and every time I would leave I would think, ‘I could do this. I could totally be a good dad.’  I never really thought about being a parent in my 20s.  I honestly wasn’t great at managing my own life, let alone a child’s.  In my 20s I thought about how great it would be to just have a life filled with friends and family, and travelling, and building a successful career.  I wanted to be Oprah.  Ok… before anyone says you can do all those things… you’re wrong.  You can’t do them to the same degree when you have a child. You have to give-up some things. You have to sacrifice.  It’s just reality.

My 30s have made me a different person.  I no longer want to be Oprah.  The day of the Cubs parade I went to lunch with my neighbor and her newborn son.  Toward the end of dinner I offered to hold him.  He had that smell all newborns have.  He didn’t fuss too much, and at the end of lunch as I handed him back to his mom I couldn’t help but think, ‘I want a baby.’  I want to be a dad one day.  I’m not ready right now, and I don’t know if I want to do it alone, but I could if I had to.  I keep telling people I’m going to adopt, and it’s the same response every time… right, you’re just going to change your life completely and go from having social obligations every night to having to take care of a child… you barely even take care of your dog –she’s with your parents more often then she’s with you.   They’re right.  It seems ridiculous –perhaps unfeasible.  However, as I grow into my 30s it seems more and more appealing. I spent this week with my parents.  I see them getting older.  If I did have a kid(s) I couldn’t do it without their help.  It takes a village. 

This is a random post.  I realize that.  Something about being here this week, with all these families.  Young parents with their kids.  I could be that one day, or at least I hope.  I’d be a good a dad.  Maybe that’s my new 10-year plan.