Thirsty.

I don’t know how to date, or so I’m told.  Last week I asked my friend to grab a drink. He replied, ‘I can’t I have a date.’  Of course I need to know everything -with who?  What are you guys going to do?  What time? How did you meet? ‘You don’t know him.  Going to get drinks in Boystown.’  I had to phone a friend… is getting drinks in a loud gay bar considered a date? ‘Yeah, that’s the new thing.’  Wait… doesn’t anyone ask someone out to dinner or something?  ‘No, if you do that now it looks thirsty.’ Wait, what?  When did that happen?  I missed the memo.  Listen, I’m not against just getting a drink, but like at a busy gay bar seems a bit much.  Of course, my immediate thought was, I always ask if someone wants to get dinner for a first date.  Oh my god do I look like a weirdo?

Maybe I’m not good at dating.  I’m not the let’s grab a drink a guy.  I’m the let’s grab dinner, or go to the zoo, or go to a comedy show or to see a band kind of guy.  At some point though, this became too much, I guess.  I feel like I’m terrible at first dates anyway.  I talk too much.  I ask too many questions.  Those things can’t be accomplished at a loud bar.  If I go out with someone, some thing about you genuinely interested me.  I want to know you’re story.  I want to be in an environment that’s conducive to accomplishing that.   

I feel like I should start handing out surveys at the end of first dates.  On a scale of one to ten… How was your experience? Would you recommend this tour to a friend?  How likely are you to return?  Dating is exhausting, which is why I don’t do it often.  I can tell quickly if someone is worth the effort.  I know what I need.  I know if it’s a match.  I have a type.  Less about looks, and more about personality and life experiences.  I can tell if there’s a chance we will work.  I vet pretty thoroughly.  Except there was this one time I went out with someone and I’m SURE he was on drugs.  Blank stares all night.  Ok, and no joke, I wrote this on a flight home, and after I landed I turned on my phone and just guess who messaged me on Tinder.  What are the odds?  His profile reads, “I’m a very unique person.”  To say the least…

Anyway, the moral of this story is, I’m going to continue to operate the same way.  I will not change.  Call it old fashioned?  I’ll never consider going to a crowded bar in Boystown a date, or any crowded bar for that matter.  I guess I’m going to just stay a weirdo.  I’ll continue to ask for dinner, or coffee, even at the risk of looking “thirsty.”  I’ll leave you with this, I have a super cute list of fun date ideas and restaurants in Chicago.  Send your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife to me and I’ll share that list with them.  You’ll thank me later.