Thirsty.
I don’t know how to date, or so I’m told. Last week I asked my friend to grab a drink. He replied, ‘I can’t I have a date.’ Of course I need to know everything -with who? What are you guys going to do? What time? How did you meet? ‘You don’t know him. Going to get drinks in Boystown.’ I had to phone a friend… is getting drinks in a loud gay bar considered a date? ‘Yeah, that’s the new thing.’ Wait… doesn’t anyone ask someone out to dinner or something? ‘No, if you do that now it looks thirsty.’ Wait, what? When did that happen? I missed the memo. Listen, I’m not against just getting a drink, but like at a busy gay bar seems a bit much. Of course, my immediate thought was, I always ask if someone wants to get dinner for a first date. Oh my god do I look like a weirdo?
Maybe I’m not good at dating. I’m not the let’s grab a drink a guy. I’m the let’s grab dinner, or go to the zoo, or go to a comedy show or to see a band kind of guy. At some point though, this became too much, I guess. I feel like I’m terrible at first dates anyway. I talk too much. I ask too many questions. Those things can’t be accomplished at a loud bar. If I go out with someone, some thing about you genuinely interested me. I want to know you’re story. I want to be in an environment that’s conducive to accomplishing that.
I feel like I should start handing out surveys at the end of first dates. On a scale of one to ten… How was your experience? Would you recommend this tour to a friend? How likely are you to return? Dating is exhausting, which is why I don’t do it often. I can tell quickly if someone is worth the effort. I know what I need. I know if it’s a match. I have a type. Less about looks, and more about personality and life experiences. I can tell if there’s a chance we will work. I vet pretty thoroughly. Except there was this one time I went out with someone and I’m SURE he was on drugs. Blank stares all night. Ok, and no joke, I wrote this on a flight home, and after I landed I turned on my phone and just guess who messaged me on Tinder. What are the odds? His profile reads, “I’m a very unique person.” To say the least…
Anyway, the moral of this story is, I’m going to continue to operate the same way. I will not change. Call it old fashioned? I’ll never consider going to a crowded bar in Boystown a date, or any crowded bar for that matter. I guess I’m going to just stay a weirdo. I’ll continue to ask for dinner, or coffee, even at the risk of looking “thirsty.” I’ll leave you with this, I have a super cute list of fun date ideas and restaurants in Chicago. Send your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife to me and I’ll share that list with them. You’ll thank me later.